RE:FIRST CHELSEA FOOTBALL GAME :WE WENT, WE SAW , WE DID NOT CONQUER

So came last Sunday. The long awaited first  market organised solely around the hype of up to fifty thousand Chelsea fans. This was going to be the first of many. I expected a massive trader turn out and the desperate traders of London did not disappoint.I will tell you who was there. There were three Jamaican jerk stalls, a Portuguese stall, Two Turkish stalls, one Pastry stall,two fruit juice stalls,one Ghanaian stall,one Thai stall, one Chinese stall, one Chinese stall not selling Chinese food Stall, One Roast Hog Stall, one Sausage/hot dog stall, one Venezuelan stall.There were many more stalls but because I arrived late, I couldn,t really take it all in but the boyfriend had rung me earlier as he went to set up."Guess what Kiru" he had asked? and I hate it when he does that. He is a die hard fault finder."No I am not guessing nothing and I don,t want you dampening my spirits .Whatever you may have found out, we cant back out now we have already paid up" " Listen to this" he continued,ignoring my reply."There are about 20 food stalls here and they include the usual suspects.You know, your friends from some of your previous markets and I have just spoken to a shop keeper and he is staggered that there are so many food stalls here today because we are not in the path of most of the fans" . A swear word involuntarily escaped my lips. He cautioned me.It was too late. I had already  prepared food for at least 200 fans. Under normal circumstances this is not a an unachievable target but even Jamie Oliver would struggle to make this sale in an over clogged market with detouring fans.I cursed  and uncursed the organizer. Times were hard and just like me, everyone, the market organizer and the vendors alike were all trying to make impossible ends meet.
After our food was displayed, the severity of the disaster that was this market hit me  when at 5 pm,about an hour after the game started we had only taken £53 quid! We would be required to start packing up at 7pm! What if this was it? we had paid £80 to be there. My heart sank as I surveyed other traders reactions.One trader  bit into his thumb .Another cupped his chin.The Chinese stall holder who was not selling Chinese food  made his way towards my stall. "Busy"? He joked. The irony was not lost on me . "Yes too busy that I can,t even talk to you" We both laughed nervously as we both agreed that perhaps we should have done some more research on the route taken by the fans before blindly storming Fulham with so much food.
Half time came and we breathed a sigh of relief as I had a few sales.But then as suddenly as it had begun, the trade stopped when the game resumed. Perhaps there is hope yet I hoped.Then without warning at just before 7, I saw them. A sea of blue shirts of various heights and build flooding towards the square. The boyfriend lit all our  stoves and the aroma from the heated food drew the hungry ones to my stall and we began to sell. Long may it continue I prayed.For the next hour we were kept on our toes but at the end of it all, we looked up and around and saw that all the other stalls bar the Turkish had not made any sales.
At 8pm,the Moroccan Cafe owner came over and warned us to bring our own chairs and tables the next time we are back because our customers have been using his and he was not going to tolerate that next time.Shortly after, the market organizer came back and" congratulated" us on being busy.We told him  that we did not consider that mini rush that was over in just an hour as busy. Would we like to attend the next game on Wednesday and also, he was organizing a market on a square in  Harrow road?. Do we care to come?The boyfriend scowled and said "No Mate" We did not exactly conquer Fulham today did we?  

I PICK A BONE WITH THE BUTCHER

The phone rang startling me back to reality as I contemplated my predicament. I had just realized that the cheque I had written for the butcher earlier that  morning  may not be honoured. I had made an  unnecessary purchase for the business the day before.I had gone on a compulsive -plum tomato-buying- spree.I thought it was too good to be true- I,d seen 14 boxes of fresh plum tomatoes being offered at a farmers market for a third of what they,d normally cost and when I found it was no gimmick, I,d bought the whole lot   of them without thinking and now I have gone slightly over the allowed overdraft limit . That cheque  WILL not be paid.My heart sank at the prospect of that happening. Robert the butcher will kill me. Praise to where it is due,my bank has been magnanimous since the recession. They have accepted to honour cheques  when there have been insufficient funds in the account in so far as the agreed sum  will be debited into the account within 24 hours of the cheque clearing.But there was no such grand plan of that  happening tomorrow. I had no markets until friday . It was a wednesday. What,s a girl to do now? I worried.
"Kiru"? the voice at the other end inquired. "Yes" I answered.
"Robert,s been cheating you he,s been charging you an extra pound per kilo for the meat and chicken and sometimes we have delivered less meat and chicken than your order"
"For how long has this been going on and why now? why are you telling me this now"? I countered. recognizing the voice . It was Stuart, the youthful butcher,s assistant at my butcher,s. "You see I am leaving him soon so either way I have nothing to loose or gain but I  thought you should know"  My mouth turned dry with anger.Robert was not beyond reproach. On a few occasions  when we have disagreed and I  have gone to another butcher,I got a larger quantity than I would normally get from Robert for a similar order. But if I had an  unexpected order for catering, Robert trumps any other butcher I know in terms of stock availability and prompt delivery .I  also do not operate with a written list with my orders.It is  not done in  a methodical way . I keep it all in my head. . I have been known to wake him up in the middle of the night to amend my order!so that upsetting as this piece of information was, it could not have come at a better time for my predicament. I sighed with relief.The universe was looking out for me.  I was going to milk this piece of news for all it is worth in terms of buying me more time to do some more catering and put more funds in the account before that cheque is paid in.I thanked Stuart and hung up.
I dialled Robert,s number. "Hello Trouble" he said. Don,t tell me you want more meat" . He joked."No I don,t " I replied angry that he could cheat on my orders and still feel no qualms about cracking jokes with me." Robert" I called clearing my throat "you have been cheating on my orders" "Don,t talk rubbish" He said. Who told you that"?" I weighed the meat and I am  about 7 kilos short on what I ordered." "But you don,t have a weighing machine in your unit Kiru  so how can you come to that conclusion" He fired back at me."What makes you think I don,t have a weighing machine" I asked. "Cos I know every equipment in your unit" he then proceeded to mention them one after another ;"one heavy duty microwave, two Williams freezers, one chest Freezer ".." Stop" I reprimanded him getting really wound up now that he thinks I  have no proof  and not wanting to reveal who my informant was.This wasn,t going as smoothly as I thought it might. I must have the upper hand  I thought. I am the one who has been wronged. I am the customer and the customer is always right. I have to hit the nail on the head and tell him exactly how I want  this issue to be  resolved   though I am not sure that I can trust him again or  whether I will continue to buy from him. "Listen  Robert " I said,my voice an octave higher than normal .I think this has been going on for a long time and that now you,ve been found out I must be compensated.Let,s start with the cheque I gave you this morning. I have now cancelled it. You must go back and revise the bill and come back to me with an offer as to how I am to be compensated."don,t cancel the cheque I will give you credit of some sort for your  order next week" I told him there was not going to be any  further order  and that I cannot  trust him anymore. He then  seemed subdued and said he wanted to come and see me in my unit.
Two hours later, he arrived at the unit bearing two square shaped cardboard boxes containing  raw meat."There" he said as he dropped them on my work top. I am sorry if you think I have cheated you . "You can come and talk to Stuart and the other guys and they,ll confirm that nothing like that is going on"...... Seems like I have to oust Stuart to get a confession from Robert but in the meantime I have a few days grace to worry about a probably reduced figure cheque!

BRING BACK THE OLYMPICS AND MY POLISH BULWARK

I remember with nostalgia ,the London Olympics. It held so much promise to many a street trader. Some traders paid a handsome amount of money for  trade that never materialized whilst some paid very little and got very lucky indeed with unplanned windfall of trade.And others like myself who could have been luckier,blew a chance of a lifetime because of lack of planning . .What will be nice though, is a return once more to the beginning of last year.There are a few things I would do differently and following which I am sure,I will not be moaning about Street trade today.
First,I hunger for and seek the return of  my best staff in the whole wide world by the name of Yakub who returned to Poland two years ago and whom I think never came back to London. Spiros , a Greek guy who spoke absolutely no English but who was a fantastic worker  had just gone back to Greece.I needed another Spiros or better.  The Job was labour intensive and I needed someone who was Strong and who could pretend it was a gym session! After so many rejections , I took to humming the hymn "Jerusalem" hoping for divine intervention in finding a suitable staff. Then came Yakub.Yakub was a strapping 7 foot of lean power house. A can do giant of a man who performed every task efficiently and with the speed of lightening.    He also had the best work ethic. It was in 2005 and I was a trader in Camden market. Himself and another guy were introduced to me at the same time in response to my ad for a replacement for Spiros.  I gave both men chores to do whilst I disappeared from view.With a cigarette dangling from his lips, I watched in pleasant disbelief as his massive hands speedily  lifted and cleaned and loaded. I offered him the job  on the spot and as a business , I can comfortably say that  he was one of the smartest decisions, I  had ever made. Such was his competence that during the events of July 7th when transportation and movement was curtailed,he ingeniously found his way to work, and cooked every dish on our menu.He had never cooked them before and had only watched me prepare them! From then on, there was nothing I could not delegate to him. My Japanese neighbour ,enviuos of my find,  resorted to currying favour with  him with breakfast every Saturday morning. He would drag her boxes and mine from the storage rooms with so much ease you,d be forgiven to think they were featherweight . In fact they weighed tonnes. He repaired electrical malfunctions,tiled the kitchen,fixed plumbing leaks,drove the van ,fixed jubilee clips to gas bottles,smiled,told me off if I was late to arrive at the market  and was good with customers. With him I feared no catering challenges and most importantly, I never did any washing up- which I detest..Since he left, there has been no staff like him and my lateness at events has become even more pronounced.  Lately, "Jerusalem" has been playing in my head.Something tells me Yakub will return to London soon. God knows I need his help badly.

 Power of positive thinking says Yakub is on his way, so  I will be able to deliver a stellar performance at any accruing festival  from the Olympics.  I therefore make bold to write the wonderful Julia whom I so let down by my lateness at her premier event last year but who was gracious to the end;
Dear Julia, thanks once again for giving me this second opportunity. I am sorry that my team was 4 hours late at last year,s event and I do apologise for the shock you must have experienced as I barked at you to hang up on the phone as my thinking was fuddled by the pain of child labour. Yes! that was not a story I made up.My beautiful daughter chose the day of your event to pop out. I did not tell you I was heavily pregnant when you  first made contact because we desperately needed the money as I had lost nearly all my markets.I knew from the way that child kicked and somersaulted in my stomach that she was going to pull a fast one!. I cajoled and sang to her and even began to gulp copious amount of tamarind juice 2 weeks before to effect a quicker arrival but she chose not to come out!. So again I was having her when you rang!I promise you that there will be no such drama this year.Believe me when I say that my stall will be the very first to set up. Permit me to introduce you to my secret weapon this time-Yakub. Kind Regards.
 Kiru.

THE RISE OF THE 15% BRIGADE

I abandoned plans to trade at a night market in a  Shoreditch car Park last Saturday because I am quietly protesting the advent of what I find is an erosion of complete autonomy from street food traders by the new generation of market organizers. I find this phase of my Street trading life rather educational because when I had the misplaced security of the two major markets I  traded at, I thought that  their management styles were oppressive but in terms of greed , this new breed wins the trio of gold, silver and bronze. half of the time, they do not have a clue what they are doing. They have chanced upon street trade organizing from various backgrounds and  have decided for themselves that  the quickest route to make money is through a percentage cut of their stallholders takings.By my calculations, If I had done that market, on the rainy night that it was, after paying the 15% charge I would have been lucky to break even.But what is the point protesting if this new levy is not being challenged by anyone else? You get marked as a trouble maker whilst the  passive lot get all the juicy markets or gigs or festivals and you don,t even get a look in.
This leads me to the main problem with street trading. It is a frighteningly unregulated battlefield unless it is run by a local authority.Council run markets are generally not run on prime sites and there is not normally a will to properly advertise them  enough to draw in buying crowds.The Local authorities health and Safety team will always look after the food you sell to the public but no one looks after you as a trader! What we need is an association with teeth that can bite! Perhaps I will start one. On second thought, I now have become paperwork lazy.  I nearly used the word phobia. That is what doing too much cooking does to you. It has become even more  necessary to regulate the treatment of street food traders by market organizers especially  since the recession. On almost every street corner in London, you will  find anyone, sometimes with just a tiny stove with an open fire and a frying pan selling "street food", What isdisturbing is that more often than not , they have been tutored in  "Street food trading " by this new generation market organizers who also masquerade as street trading consultants. How do you consult not from years of experience selling food to the public but from method statements from the traders on your list.! Make no mistake, these new breed are  usually very internet savvy and can twitter and facebook and do the rest of them,they can of course garner an eating and drinking crowd. Youngish-Eating-Drinking types in Street food land =A sell out food stall. So you see , if you can get the crowd to follow you, any street trader and aspiring ones will sell their last paella to follow you and your tutorship even if you are  teaching half -cooked rubbish!   Most Traders are averse to too much paper work. The reason for this is two fold. 1.If they have come into street trading from office work, they want to keep well away from any kind of paper work.2. English is not the first Language of most street food hawkers therefore, doing paperwork is to them like pulling teeth. So, how can these new generation market organisers tutor in Street trading? They can because  the experienced traders are not doing it and there is no credible association. At an Olympic fest last year ,one of these new breed organizers offered to help us manage our queue by collecting the money for us.The boyfriend  thanked her no. That promptly put an end to further trading opportunities with her.
Why should any trader  have to pay for a space twice? Why should any trader have to pay  a fee to rent a space from an organizer and also reveal the details of her takings to the same organizer by giving him/her 15% of her takings? The operative word here  is takings. The trader will have spent good money on the ingredients and all the other overheads  Nowadays you,d be lucky to make up to 40% in profit after expenses and overhead. Where is the autonomy in  running your own business when you have to declare your earning to a market organizer? Did I tell you dear Blog  that I have run markets in the past? Well, if my toddlers allowed me enough sleep I might just go back to it in a jiffy. I would run a pure and fair market and an association  and a tutorial for the newly initiated traders....ouch!  my head hurts already!